Portland: Part 3
There are small moments in life that seem as though they're too ordinary to offer up, too mundane to mention; however, how do we view the world? Don't those small moments mean much more than just a passing thought? While in Portland, I had more small moments than I would in my everyday life. I could only attribute this to being in a new, bright, shiny place.
Because I'm writing this months after the fact though, I realized that this has nothing to do with your surroundings and no correlation to common versus uncommon occurrences.
Maybe I had this epiphany when I looked at a curation of 4 posts that were going to recap my big Portland adventure before I realized that it didn't make sense. On the surface, this mini series was just meant for me -- to write about the time I had (a scrapbook of sorts).
Kind of like this little group of coffee and doughnut photos. Granted, Voodoo Doughnuts was the shit because of their vegan selection, that fact that we were so close to the original Starbucks made my iced quad vanilla soy flat white that much better, and we grabbed Stumptown almost every morning because STUMPTOWN. In no way does me writing this diminish the joy I felt, but those experiences, coupled with much smaller ones, is what made Portland so magical.
So as I started writing this, but ended up deleting each phrase and sentence as it flowed from my fingertips. Feelings came rushing back from Portland: sitting on the train, walking along a string of small shops, staring at the man I was going to marry, glancing at my feet to ensure I still existed, watching the faces of loved ones light up in the morning right before we were about to experience something new together -- and all the while, wondering how I could hold onto those feelings indefinitely.
At the Native American installation within the Portland Art Museum, I felt more connected to my history than I ever had before (which may have added to my frustration about writing this). A culture that hasn't been handed down to me and I have no "real" connection to at all, yet it has influenced me in decisions more than most things in my life. I saw my history reflected in such a large space and was completely surrounded by a grounded feeling. It was overwhelming.
Being overwhelmed has been the theme for my 2016 thus far, which isn't bad. Trying to figure out where I'm going, what I'm doing, and how to stay grounded throughout presents a solid amount of challenges for me. I think it's safe to say that a change is coming. I have a feeling that it's going to be massive.